Whales

So a couple of whales have been making waves (pun intended) in the news over the past couple weeks. These stupid creatures have wandered up some water way near Sacramento and people are freaking out. I guess they’re afraid the whales will - God forbid - die. Reality check. Animals die. Whales are animals. Whales die. This just begs the question, what makes the lives of these two whales so precious that humans must stop everything to save them? These overgrown tuna sandwiches are obviously pretty stupid for getting lost. I mean, the freaking ocean makes up 75% of the world’s surface yet they get lost heading up some river? Personally, this doesn’t sound like a life worth prolonging.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating the death of any animal (I’m really biting my tongue here) but seriously, how much of our time/money/taxes should be wasted on these two retarded whales? Okay, so that may be harsh. Let’s think of this from the whale’s perspective.

No, not the perspective of the retarded whale who got lost in a freaking ocean, I mean the other whales that are happily munching on plankton and sipping on daiquiris while enjoying the easy whale life. These whales have it made. All they do is swim around all day and enjoy oceanic life. They don’t want to jeopardize this paradise. They have a society to uphold after all. Do you really think they want to ruin everything they’ve built by letting a bunch of dimwits in the DNA pool? I seriously doubt it. In fact, I bet the rest of the whale population is to blame for all this. They probably coerced these two dumbasses up the Sacramento River by telling them their ball was up there or something Hell… that’s how I get rid of my dumbass dog when he’s being annoying.

This is simply another sign of how mentally weak our society has become. It doesn’t make sense to waste all the time, money, and resources on “rescuing” these two dumbass whales. Animals die every day for stupid ass reasons. Just check out Animal Planet. You can always see an antelope being torn apart by a lion or something. Why don’t we save that animal’s life? Because animals are supposed to die. It’s the whole (cue Elton John) circle of life. So what, a couple of whales lost their way up the river. Take a picture to show your kids the day you saw some dipshit whales swim off to their demise and go about your life. It’s not our responsibility to save the lives of every dumbass creature on the planet. Thicken up those artery walls and let nature take its course.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007 at 10:03 pm and is filed under In the News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.