Cup of Ice Ban
Being unemployed, I’m trying to find my place amongst my new economic class, the poor. As we all know, one of the key components of being a good deadbeat is the need to constantly inoculate one’s self with alcohol. As such, I made a trip to one of the nearby liquor stores for a little liquid sustenance.
While waiting for the fat old checkout lady to make change with the fifty-dollar bill I got in trade for my weekly food stamp allowance, I noticed a sign posted on the counter. It said something to the effect of:
“Due to Georgia law, it is illegal for any liquor store to provide cups of ice to anyone.”
Cups of ice? I asked the fat old checkout lady about it but she didn’t seem too friendly or willing to talk. I guess being an unemployed deadbeat loser on the verge of foreclosure makes me unworthy of conversation … well, it’s either that or she’s just a fat old checkout lady who’s not very nice. I guess we’ll never know which one it is for sure.
Anyways, my initial thought was, “Wow, now that’s an absurd law!”
My second thought was, “Man, that fat old checkout lady was a bitch! She doesn’t know the hardships I’ve had to endure! It’s not easy for everyone to make it in the world today! It’s not my fault! … Could you spare some change?”
Once my pity party ended, I started thinking about the events that must have transpired to cause such a law to be passed.
As I figure, some dimwit picked up a bottle of booze from a liquor store along with a deceivingly evil cup of ice. He then drank himself and his car directly into a school-buss full of kiddies. Knowing that dead kids make an excellent foundation for absurd laws, some douchebag lawmaker (who was doing poorly in the polls) proposed a bill that will “prevent tragedies such as this from ever happening again” (his words, not mine) by preventing people from acquiring these deadly cups of ice from liquor stores.
What a dipshit… Sadly, the biggest dipshits are the people that re-elected this guy because of his “commitment to make our state safer for our children” (again his words, not mine).
Listen up dipshits, if people feel they are in such dire need of a drink before even getting out of the parking lot, the temperature of that drink probably isn’t going to stop them. Even if it did, liquor stores are full of these massive coolers with all kinds of alcohol in them. The lack of a cup of ice is not going to stop them from getting shitfaced. This law is pointless.
How much tax payer money has been spent on getting this bill passed and then how much more will we continue to spend on enforcing it?
This law is just another example of wasted government resources and an abuse of what our government is here for.
Alright, enough blogging… this deadbeat needs to get all alcoholed up before the cops get here for that domestic abuse call to 911.
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June 6th, 2007 at 5:42 pm
did you have to cancel your cable bill due to your recent poorness?
there was a news story recently about liquor stores having cups of ice available for people to basically buy whatever and then drink on the go. the sign is just a reaction to this.
http://www.wsbtv.com/news/13376255/detail.html
June 6th, 2007 at 5:45 pm
Cable is still a go … how long can you not pay it before they just cut it off?
So, instead of enforcing the existing open container laws, they decided to ban cups of ice? Absurd.
June 6th, 2007 at 10:38 pm
Wow… and it’s only 5 miles from my house! Road trip? I’ve never been to a drive-thru liquor store before.
June 7th, 2007 at 1:33 am
you totally went to the place in front of brewers’ ice cream. with the “dike”-ish check out lady.
screw their conversation, just get it in an get out, less you be fed Midway propaganda. (I get off at 2 on Fridays, if you supply the liquor I will sit around and bitch with you about a.) any local issue provided the state purchased rum flows and b.) it is on my wife’s way home from work to pick my ass up. Let me know.
-E
June 7th, 2007 at 8:43 am
I have to say I agree there is no reason for a liquor store to sale cups of ice…of course, if they want one, they can stop by the closest convenience store and get a cup of ice. I am not sure how much tax money was spent making this a law, but I am sure had it not been spent on this law, it would have been spent some other needless way. Maybe this one will at least inconvenience those who wish to drink and drive. You never know Dave, the life this law saves may be yours!!!
June 7th, 2007 at 8:54 am
cyanbane, sounds like a plan man. God knows I’ve got nothing else going on but drinking.
mitch, that’s my point. I really don’t think the lack of a cup of ice is really going to stop anyone from boozing up before getting behind the wheel. And worry not, drunk people never die in car accidents… it’s one of my excu… reasons… for staying drunk 24/7 now.
June 7th, 2007 at 9:37 am
Who is the genious that they interviewed for the article (Melton)? Hilarious. I could just see him saying “It’s the American Way” while taking a swig. Dave you should go find him and hang out
June 7th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
Only in the SWATs.
I am not sure what is more alarming: The statement that Melton made about having a drink on the way home is the “American Way” or the sad Kenny G music blaring in the background at the liquor store.
Do they have to pass the same health code checks that a restaurant does to serve the ice in the old grungy cooler?
June 7th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
I say if the liquor store pisses you off, buy a bag of ice from the place, a bag of cups, setup a stand outside that says “Free cups of ice” and drive off.
June 10th, 2007 at 4:13 pm
You know what? I’ve lived in 4 states and in every one of them, you could get a cup of ice when you went there and most of the times, they were gratis!
Here’s the deal that kills me. Don’t you think selling “ice cold beer” is the same thing? What is the point of selling beer ice cold? It doesn’t require refrigeration to prevent spoilage, like milk. It doesn’t require refrigeration to keep its consistency, like ice cream. It is sold ice cold so you can drink two or three on your way home. Yeah, no one is supposed to do it but it happens and has been that way since convenience stores, gas stations and food markets were allowed to sell it.
In some states, open containers of alcohol are NOT (or at least were not) illegal and it was not illegal to consume alcohol while driving (Louisiana and Arizona WERE like this) but you better not be over the limit if they stop you. There was a drive-in BAR on Baseline Road in Tempe, AZ not far from the Scottsdale line. Not a drive-in liquor store…a drive-in bar. You pulled up to the window and ordered a drink. You could also get package goods but if you just wanted a dry martini to go, that was a-freakin’-ok.
It was a waste of money but this just gives some politician another talking point and another “reasonable cause” tool to the jackbooted police.
June 11th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
How long have you been fired? What types of positions are you looking for? And how’s the job market?
June 12th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
[...] by the comment from Bugboy, I figured I would give a little update on my (un)employment status. As readers of my [...]
June 12th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Bugboy, I’ve been out of work for almost a month now. Previously, I had been doing Business Analyst / Project Management work for insurance companies. I like the work but haven’t been thrilled with the industry. I’m pretty much looking for anything process improvement related at this point to tied me over, but I’m kind of using this opportunity to figure out exactly what it is I want to do.
The job market seems to be fairly happening but I haven’t gotten many calls over the past few weeks. I think it may just be a down time being the middle of the year and the start of vacation season. I’m sure things will pick up eventually.
June 13th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
You can totally get a cup of ice at the liquor store near my house… but you have to pay for it.
June 13th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
duane, even now? I think this is a new law (not sure, could be wrong). I forget if the sign said only free cups of ice were forbidden.