My Unemployed Life
Prompted by the comment from Bugboy, I figured I would give a little update on my (un)employment status. As readers of my old blog know, I was let go (dooced) by my former employer almost a month ago. I was shocked to say the least. From what I hear, my boss, his boss, nor the CIO of the company supported my termination. It was purely an HR decision. How fucked up is that?
Anyways, my down time has not left me devoid of time wasters…
I still go to the gym in the morning, just not at 6a anymore. This has been especially nice with schools being out for summer. You know what I’m talking about… all those recently released teachers. Yeah… teachers… that’s it. Actually, I’ve fallen in lust for a chick who appears to be of legal consent age. She comes in Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays around 8:30a. What? Who’s a stalker? Anyways, does anyone have a suggestion on how an unemployed, non-meat-head, and extremely sweaty guy can pick up a chick in a gym? Yeah… didn’t think so. Thanks for nothing.
I came up with a brilliant (my blog, my adjective, deal with it) idea for a website and taught myself enough AJAX to actually put together a ‘proof of concept’, only to later find out Microsoft has a patent on my idea… of course they’re not using it. Bastards.
Defeated at writing the next site subject to a Google buyout, I decided I would try my hand at writing a movie script instead. It turns out that coming up with a plot idea was pretty damn easy. Developing characters and writing scenes however is not so easy so I’ve been watching a lot of movies under the guise of ‘research.’
With the lack of a source of revenue, my diet has changed dramatically. Also, I drink at home a lot more. This has made me question whether my new found love of mac’n'cheese and beer is a result of my DNA originating from Mississippi and Arkansas or simply due to my status of unemployed. I feel this will go down as one of life’s great mysteries.
Last but not least, from time to time I’ve spent a few minutes every day or so looking for jobs and submitting resumes. The first week was great as I was getting multiple phone calls daily. The next two weeks were absolutely silent. This week I’ve received a couple phone calls, one of which sounded promising but I haven’t heard back from the guy so maybe it was just an indian promise.
Exciting stuff from the land of the unemployed, is it not? I’ll update as updates happen.
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June 12th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
I feel like I need to cook something for you tonight…
June 12th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
I’m not sure if I’m supposed to argue with that. I love mingafood. Unfortunately I have an HOA Board meeting at 7p which will most likely last until 9p so maybe we can do it another night?
June 12th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Man, I feel that pain, back when I was “let go” last September, I made the mistake of taking a bad job which I despised, sure it gave me access to the porn they sold but that only goes so far…
June 12th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Yeah, you’re still in the doghouse for not letting us know you worked for a pr0n site Greg!
June 12th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Np, roomie
June 12th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
It wasn’t a pron site, it was merely a company based in Norcross that sold foam based “adult” furniture as well as various toys and dvds
Oh, and photo shoots, I was in the same room when Aria Giovanni was “gettin’ it done” (non-porn btw, just modelling) so to speak
there, that should give you enough information to google them
June 12th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
Sorry to hear that you still don’t have a job, dude! I hope that something comes your way soon!!!
And wow! Bugboy IS still alive!
June 12th, 2007 at 4:18 pm
re: script –> Story (http://tinyurl.com/2cbxst) If you can’t buy it (har har?), go grab a copy from the library. You know the one, about a block shy of “downtown” Alpharetta.
June 12th, 2007 at 4:22 pm
Maigh, I think I still have a fine on my library card from like 5 years ago… no library for me. I think I’ll rough it. Oddly enough, I’m having a REALLY easy time coming up with character backgrounds for the chicks in the movie… weird, huh?
June 12th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Time to refine your schtick and take the comedy gig on the road, pal.
June 12th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
eater, the thought has definitely crossed my mind…
June 12th, 2007 at 6:04 pm
All of those calls are good news, things will start going your way soon, so don’t get yourself down. I’ve had times like that where the phone did not ring at all. Get friends with a lot of experience to proof your resume.
Are you exclusively an excel man or do you have substantial database skills?
And keep this one the back burner: Pull a George Costanza and just show up somewhere and start working. Say the person on vacation hired you.
June 12th, 2007 at 6:10 pm
Bugboy, thanks for the words of encouragement. I actually received a call after posting this… I have a couple interviews being scheduled as I type.
No, I’m not exclusively an Excel man for sure. I’m curious, what gave you that impression? I do have substantial database skills. I also do report writing and light programming. I have spent most of my time lately defining requirements and putting together test cases and such. Exciting stuff, no doubt.
re: George Costana — You think I could pull off a bouncer at the Pink Pony? Now that would be a job I would love showing up to work for.
June 12th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
Most analysts are excelophiles. If you have strong db & programming skills you need to make that loud and clear on your resume. This sets you apart from the run of the mill analyst and puts you in a whole different group.
Maybe you should show up at the Braves office and say that Ted Turner had hired you. (have they been sold yet?)
June 12th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
Um, I think you can show up ANYWHERE at the Braves stadium and say you own/work/should be anywhere and no one would care for a second. Everyone is too busy doing anything but actually watching the game to even care. If you bring them food they’ll make you the owner.
June 12th, 2007 at 9:32 pm
Bugboy, ahh… good call. I definitely beefed up the programming/db side of the resume. Oddly enough, the positions I was called about today were all Access/Excel. We’ll see how it goes.
And yes, the Braves were sold to the Liberty Media Corp, gag…
Jenn, hush it… how them Yanks doing this year? They still 10 games behind the BoSox?
June 12th, 2007 at 11:28 pm
OK then if you do VBA for excel, show examples (project names) and be sure to mention the db you tied to and strongly STRONGLY emphasize your SQL experience (SQL as in the language, not nec. the db, thought SqlServer skills are great too).
One tip I read somewhere: don’t emphasize how happy the job will make you if you got it. THey don’t care. Instead emphasize what you can do FOR them (work fast, clear up backlog of projects, new ideas, etc). They want you to make life easier for them. I know you are smart enuf to know that, but it’s easy to forget these things when you are wearing a suit and tie.
June 13th, 2007 at 10:13 am
Yeah, when I go interviews I use the mentality that I’m interviewing them just as much as they’re interviewing me. I’m holding out for the right opportunity, if this is it, rock on, if not, next please.
June 13th, 2007 at 10:29 pm
Dave.. for picking up chicks in a gym… i submit to you, my secret weapon…
this works everytime… women love to know that you notice things about them so here goes… walk up to her and say “Nice shoes… wanna fuck?”
Or after a nice workout.. make sure you got some nice, strategic sweat spots.. stand with your feet shoulder width apart, and with your best “taa daa!!!” expression, you look her right in the eyes and say “well, it’s not gonna suck itself.” and point to your crotch… if she doesn’t take the bait.. she wasn’t worth it.